Do you trust Me?

Well friends, a lot has happened recently.

Last week, due to a misunderstanding, I thought my trip was almost completely paid for. I was so relieved and was just praising our Father. A couple of hours later I was informed that instead of needing $40, I actually needed $940. Satan really used it to shake me up a little bit and just blatantly taunted me. I thought I had done a good job about giving the fundraising part to God. I wasn't as good as I thought. It's been really hard this past week not worrying about the money. My final deadline in April 11. I know $940 is nothing for God, and that He is above what we think our time lines should be. I wanted to be done early. He planned differently. God did give me a very good illustration tonight though.

I work at the Association of Former Students here at A&M. I call former students to make sure we have the correct information for them and to ask for donations to a scholarship fund of sorts. For most of this semester we have been calling people that have never given before. It's been tough work. Last week my boss made this wonderful deal that the first gift we got of a certain amount that we got, as long as we has at least a 25% success rate, we could leave early and get paid for the full shift. Last week I got out within an hour of every shift. Tonight wasn't working out that way. There were only about 5 of us left and I have a test tomorrow so I really wanted to get out early but it just wasn't happening for me. I asked God why it wasn't working out like last week when I asked Him to get out early and He let me. I was very open with my co-workers that I prayed that if it was in His will that God would let me get out early and I gave Him the glory for it every time. God told me to put my notes away. I didn't listen for a couple calls. Finally, I obeyed. I had already had three no's. One more and I know I was pretty much stuck for the whole shift. I called a man who I really didn't think would give me anything just from how the call started. But, to God's complete glory, the man gave me what I needed and I got out an hour early. It was the last call I could make and get out early. I trusted God, I obeyed, and He was faithful. As I was driving back to my house I realized just what God had done. He waited until the last minute to give me what I needed. That is what He is doing with my fundraising. He will provide what I need, but He'll keep me waiting.

It's hard, but I am thankful for a God who is outside of time and who knows far better than I do about what I need. (Isaiah 55:8-9)

Please pray for my team and me as we anxiously await the rest of our funds. This can one of the hardest times of the whole trip, just trusting Father. Please pray we would completely trust and give our anxieties and fears to Him.

Please pray as we prepare for our leadership retreat next weekend. We are all very excited. Pray for the iGo Global staff as the put all the finishing touches on it and that it all falls into place.

Pray for the missionaries as they fly in from the field to be with us.

Please pray for my left ankle. I fractured my fibula in December (and by that I mean I tore tendons from the bone) and it's been bothering me recently. It's mostly healed, just not all the way yet. I will be on it A LOT in Tokyo and would love for it to be better by then.

Sorry it's long. Love y'all!

Weapons of our Warfare

So when I sat down to write this blog I thought I was going to write on one thing, but God quickly redirected my thoughts. Instead of a little Kelley update this is a plea for prayer, a call to battle.

John Piper refers to prayer as our wartime walkie talkie. It is not part of the ministry, it IS the ministry. It is also our most powerful weapon against the enemy. 2 Corinthians 10:4 says, "For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have the divine power to destroy strongholds." If Satan ever had a stronghold, friends, it's Japan. And he does not want to give it up. He as been attacking our team like crazy, especially when it comes to the fundraising part. We are about three weeks away from our final deadline, and it's a big one. Satan has been attacking us all in other ways as well, in our walks and relationships. We are 56 days away from flying out. This is crunch time for all of our preparation. That is a long and a short time all at the same time. It's not that long in the grand scheme of things, but it's long enough for Satan to do work and mess things up.

Please pray for a team as we really start to suit up the battle that lies ahead. Don't be afraid to pray big prayers for God's power to move. He is the almighty Creator of the universe. Satan is losing and he knows it. Now is our time to step up and take the enemy on the enemy with all we have. We have what we need, we just need to let His boldness fill us and lose ourselves for the sake of the Gospel.

Please pray for us to all trust the Great Provider to provide the rest of the money. Pray for affirmation of our calling as well. A lot of time Satan tangles these two together to throw some off.

Please pray for our retreat on April 9-10. Pray that we would start to bond and pray for one another and really get excited and focused for the summer.

Please pray for me. Pray that God would take me out of the picture. I just want to love the interns this summer with all I have in me. I want to pour myself out for them as a drink offering before the Lord. I know Satan will attack and make me selfish. Please ask that God would guard my heart and mind against those thoughts and emotions. I just want to be a beacon of Christ's love and encouragement as much as possible. I want to disappear so He is all that anyone sees.

Thank you so much for your prayer and support. You are just as much a part of this battle as I am, don't ever forget it. Prayer makes all this possible.

Love y'all dearly.

Far more abundantly...

This past weekend I had the opportunity to be a small group leader at the disciple now at my home church. We studied the stories of Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. God showed me how all of those guys stepped out in faith and God was faithful and blessed them even though He didn't have to. Right before Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego get thrown into the fiery furnace they basically say God has the power to save us, but even if He chooses not to we're not going to bow down to your gods. What faithfulness! They didn't care what happened to them, they knew God had commanded them to have not other gods and they followed (cue "Burn Us Up" by Shane & Shane). Of course, God was more than faithful and used to whole thing to make Himself famous before a pagan king and his kingdom. Daniel heard of the decree that called for people to only pray though King Darius. Instead of giving in, or praying secretly, he prayed with his windows open to Jerusalem and got himself thrown into the lion's den. The next morning he got out without a scratch and a few more furry friends. Again, God didn't have to save Daniel, but He did and again He got the glory for it before pagans.

I kinda have a story like that now...

Last time around I told y'all that I only needed $2,200. Well, as of today, I only need $1,395!!! I walked into my room after getting home from class today and found two envelopes on my bed. One was a letter. One was a white envelope with a red dot on it so that it looked like the Japanese flag. I picked it up and noticed it was thick. I opened it and found $805 in cash and no note. I have NO idea who it came from, my roommates said it was just in our mailbox, but it had obviously not been mailed. I stepped out in faith, a little reluctantly I must say, and trusted that God would bring me what I need to get to Japan. I had no idea where He was going to bring it from, but I gave it to Him. And then He did this. I didn't have to face a fiery potential death or a pit of ferocious felines, or anything, but was still faithful and blessed me to make Himself famous.

I had nothing to do with the money that was so graciously given to me. Nothing I ever did inspired those people to do that for me. It was all God, all the way around. I cried tears of joy and just thanked God for His faithfulness. I am blown away by my Savior and Provider. How stinking awesome is our God?!

"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church in Christ Jesus throughout all the generation, forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

Already counting down.

So today is March 3rd. I don't leave until May 18th. This has not prevented a few of my teammates and from starting the countdown. I think it's like 75 or something like that today. It's going to be here before we know it. I am just ready to be there and hit the ground running for the Lord. Fundraising in coming along. I only need about $2,200 by April 9th. That is pocket change in God's eyes. I am excited to see how He is going to provide. He has been able to keep me at peace with the money and I can probably attribute that to your prayer, so thanks! :)

I really believe that my entire life has been building up to these three months in Japan and my life beyond. God has been so near and so ready to reveal purpose behind even the smallest things in my life in preparation. Most days I'm excited about going back. Today I just want to be there right now. If I could, I would drop everything and just be there. Too bad we really can't teleport. I know, though, that I will get there when God wants me there, not a minute sooner or later.

Please pray for my teammates and I as Satan tempts us into forgetting the task at hand as we prepare for the summer to come.

Please pray that all of our money would just flood in as God reminds us that His steadfast love and faithfulness with never fail us.

Please pray for IMB Tokyo as a lot of changes have been made in the leadership of the team. Please pray for the new volunteer coordinators for IMB Tokyo. Pray that the plan for the summer would really take shape and that organizing and mobilizing all of the volunteer teams would go smoothly.

Please pray for the Japanese who are waiting to hear. Ask that God would continue to stir up His ancient work in that country and that we would see a great revival in our lifetimes.

Thank you all so much for your prayer, love, and support. All of y'all have had a influence in my life that has brought me to this point. Love y'all!

Burn, burden, break me.

"Father, take my life, yea, my blood if Thou wilt, and consume it with Thine enveloping fire. I would not save it, for it is not mine to save. Have it Lord, have it all. Pour out my life as an oblation for the world. Blood is only of value as it flows before Thine alter." -Jim Elliot

Jim Elliot prayed that at the age of 21. Seven years later, he was killed by the very people group he had been praying would come to know Christ for six years. Shadow of the Almighty by Elisabeth Elliot is perhaps the best Christmas present I have ever been given. Compiled by his wife, the book is mostly Jim's journal entries and letters he wrote from high school to the time of his death. Reading the prayers of a man who truly understood that the gospel was worth more than his own life was both challenging and encouraging. God really used the book to wake me up, to shake me up. This is a new year. A new semester. It's time to start living His love.

On night over my Christmas break, Father pulled the veil back and gave me a larger view of what He is doing in and around me. Every single tear and hurt from last semester He has used to get me to where I am now. I am ready to become more of the woman He created me to. That requires a complete loss of self in Him. Never has that idea brought so much joy and excitement to my heart. There is a line from a John Mark McMillan song that has become a simple prayer of mine: "I dreamed I'd bleed with Your praises, just to make the world smell like Your grace again." I am finally ready to let go, to count it all as a loss because knowing Him is so much greater than whatever I could find in this world. I am beginning to see His worth, and I am starting to chase after it. I know that I will not just go from timidity to Paul-like boldness overnight or even quickly, but I am ready to begin that process. I don't want to think myself out of things. Obedience is worth whatever the "cost" may be.

It is very easy to forget how important and urgent the gospel is, especially when we are surrounded by other believers or are in a culture where the norm is to claim Christ. I think we also fear that we have to stand on a street corner and preach, or that unbelievers would think we're weird-0 Christians and will shut us down. I pray that when we see the world as Christ does, we would love as He does, serve joyfully. We should strive to be weird-o Christians in that we don't complain or react as if we had not been freed by grace. Grace has set us free. But, the moment we received His grace we received His calling to share the Good News with everyone we come in contact with. It's not a suggestion, or even a commandment. It is what marks a heart and life that are completely surrendered to the Greater Plan and the Ultimate Planner. It's not about us. We all know the first part of Psalm 46:10: "Be still and know that I am God...". We tend to leave off the rest of the rest of the verse: "I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!". God's heart and ultimate plan of it all is to bring fame and glory to Himself, because He and He alone is worthy of all praise on earth. He is so passionate for His name that He sent His holy and perfect Son to die for wicked sinners like ourselves so we could experience the joy in knowing Him and in turn share with the nations.

There is no formula for sharing the gospel. No magic words, no special prayer. We were sinners, Jesus was perfect. He loved us and died so we could know that love. God is sovereign, He works all things out for His purposes. There is absolutely no way we can mess things up, as long as we are being obedient. We will say silly things sometimes. We will give bad examples. We will misquote or misplace a verse or two. Our Marvelous Lord is much bigger than our words or actions. No one's salvation or discipleship depend on us, that's all God. How freeing is that? He has everything under control with a constant invitation to us to join in His ancient work in every nation, tribe, and tongue. Rest in that freedom, marvel in it, and share His love and grace.

Please pray that as Christians all over, we would really grasp these truths and that God would start a revival in our Jerusalems, Judeas and Samarias, and to the ends of the earth.

"But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified but His blood, much more shall we be saved by Him from the wrath of God." -Romans 5:8-9

"But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes from God that depends of faith-that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and may share in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, that by any means possible I may attain resurrection from the dead." -Philippians 3:7-11

Seasons

So I know that there is still several months and an entire semester between now and my flight to Tokyo, but I just can't help but feel this anticipation and excitement for what Father is doing and will do. This past semester was tough, one of the toughest seasons of my life, but my Savior was close the whole time. He taught me so much that He will use in Japan, and in life in general. He had to teach me brokenness for me to learn how to be made whole in Him. I had to feel pain to learn perseverance and experience true joy. I could go on and on. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 really came alive to me. For everything there is a season, a time plant and a time to pluck up what is planted. I learned that sometimes even though He is the One that planted a seed in your life, He will pluck it up and start all over for something new. As the Lord told Baruch in Jeremiah 45:4, "...Behold, what I have built I am breaking down, and what I have planted I am plucking up-that is the whole land". I know my afflictions were only light ones compared to deadly persecution, or even the surpassing greatness of knowing our Lord, but I felt like God was breaking down what He had built in my life. At the time I didn't think it was worth it, but Father reminded me that my life is not about me, it is about Him and His glory. Becoming like Christ is a process, it's not instantaneous. It takes multiple breaking down and rebuilding seasons for us to let go of living life for ourselves and abandon our lives completely to Christ. I know that I still have a looong way to go, and I don't think the breaking down season is completely over, but I'm ready for what's next. Now more than ever before.

I am a big fan of Switchfoot and their new song "Hello Hurricane". It talks about facing a storm head on because no matter what happens, God and His love aren't going anywhere. I prayed that God would help me learn what it meant to count it all as loss compared to Him (Phil. 3:7-10). I wanted to live my life for Christ and count death as gain. He gave me a taste. Even though He didn't have to, He proved His faithfulness and strength to comfort and heal. I'm ready to go out and fight the fight He has in front of me. I'm ready for what's next. There is a lot that goes into preparing for a trip like the one Father is leading me to this summer. I know it will be hard, but I cannot wait to see what He is going to do. He is awakening people all over the world to the beauty of His grace. Japan may be spiritually dark, but it is God's. Like the people in Isaiah 65, He is ready to be sought by those who were not looking for Him. How wonderful is that? God wants all people to know Him, the earth if full of His glory to prove it. I'm getting pumped just thinking about it. He is so mighty and sovereign, yet He still chooses to use our sinful, selfish little selves.

As things start gearing up for the summer, please be in prayer for the missionaries, interns, and volunteers who will be in Tokyo. I'm so stinking excited to pray for my fellow interns and see what Father has for each one of us. Please pray for unity during the summer right off the bat. Please pray that God would provide financially, and that we wouldn't worry about it. Please pray that God would prepare our hearts, and that we would be obedient in what that might me. Thank y'all so much for praying, it means so much. Getting ready for awesome things to happen. I can just feel it, God is going to do awesome things all over His earth in 2010!

"Sisters, brother, thieves and lovers,
Come uncover eternity.
Turn your faces from finite places
Heaven's grace will set you free"

-Phil Wickham "The Time is Now" (my new most favorite song, you should check it out. :) )

Waiting for God's provision

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! I definitely did, I love getting to spend time with family and eat a ton of good food.

I am very glad to inform y'all that Father has provided $1400 for my trip so far! Father is so faithful, enough keeps coming in time for my next payment and then some. It has been incredible to see His faithfulness thus far. While that is completely good news, I do have to inform y'all of a little hitch in the road. I received a letter from iGo earlier this week informing me that due to things getting more expensive across the board, I need to raise $5000 instead of $4000. I'm not worried, not one bit, that I won't be able to raise another $1000, it just means I have to trust Father for me. So far it hasn't been that hard, but as things really start picking up and that final April deadline gets closer, I know the enemy will do his worst to make me worried.

Please pray that my teammates and I will trust Father to provided everything we need, financially and spiritually. Pray that He would begin to prepare our hearts for the work and for living and working with one another. Pray for the M's as they are apart from their families in the holiday season. Most importantly, pray that Father would begin to work in the hearts of those He will put in our paths once we finally get to Japan. Pray that He would bind the enemies lies and give them hope enough to hold on. Thank you for all your prayers, by praying you are just as much a part of this as I am.