My new favorite song is "The Invasion (Hero)" By Trip Lee. I can never just listen to it one time, I have to listen to it at least twice, if not more. I really think that the rappers that make up the 116 Clique have the best lyrics of any Christian music today. For real. This song is all about how we are broken and Jesus came to save us. He is our Hero, our knight in armor. He has already saved the day. We couldn't do it on our own.
"Like a G5 yeah you rush to rescue me. Took a cross in exchange for throne to save me. You began the work and I know that You'll finish, You'll make all things right when you come back cause You're my hero, You've already saved the day."
So as I have this song in my head I read the Stuff Christians Like post called "Going Back". What stuck out to me was this line towards the end: "Rescue is a one way street." Wow. Once we are saved, we are saved. God doesn't wait until we have gotten ourselves out of the pit, He comes to us while we are still covered in dirt, trying our hardest to get out. We can't clean ourselves up for Him, we have to let Him do that.
I don't know about you, but that is wonderfully encouraging. Every break I tend to get myself in a lazy mess spiritually. I just don't do anything, and so I kinda flounder. But Jesus, my hero, is reaching in and pulling me out. I don't want to be in pit any more, I just want to follow Him. I want to live for Him. He gave everything for me, I should do the same for Him.
I am thankful to have a Hero God who has already saved the day and my soul.
Full lyrics: http://www.songlyrics.com/trip-lee/the-invasion-hero-lyrics/
SCL: http://stuffchristianslike.net/2010/12/going-back/
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Different
Every semester is different. You hang out with slightly different people. You have different classes. The weather is constantly changing. God emphasizes different themes in you life.
This semester I have definitely learned more of God's faithfulness and of His glorious redemption.
I have also learned that I am the one mentioned in Galatians 6:3, "For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself." I sat at a higher table just to find that I was assigned to be seated much lower. My pride blew up. I let satan tell me that I was a big deal, that everything I said was dripping with wisdom and that I was really learning how to love people and was doing a good job. Lies, all of it. Truth is, I have just been full of myself most of this semester. God has done His best to bring me back to reality though.
I have had to drop a class for the first time ever. I almost thought I wasn't going to be able to complete a class this semester. I have failed at being the roommate and friend God has called me to be. I have had my moments of letting Him shine through, but I feel like for the most part I was trying to shine so hard on my own I eclipsed anything He was trying to do.
I have been going hard this semester, mostly striving on my own rather than being poured out for the Lord. The semester started with so much promise. I prayed to be poured out, and be to a background player, now matter how thankless my actions were.
But I gave up.
It was hard. I was tired or trying. I got busy. I gave up.
As I sit here and think over the semester I feel like I have grown, but only in the fact that now I realize how unimportant I am, how much I don't have this whole Christian thing figured out. I am not as big of a deal as I thought I was. I am nothing really. I am spoiled, selfish, lazy, and unwise with my words. I am a failure. I don't really know if this is the real me or if the Kelley of Japan is the real me. Have I digressed? Was I ever really anything?
Last week, I heard one of the most life changing sermons I have ever been privilege to hear. It was over Galatians 5:16-26. The message I really came away with is that we are called to just walk. We don't have to follow any formulas. We don't have to prove anything. There are no prerecs. We just walk in the Spirit. He promises to guide us every step of the way. And we shouldn't lose heart when we fall, we are just learning how to walk, we are not perfect. We do not just wake up one morning with the ability to run a mile. We must learn. And it not an easy process, it is hard and sometimes it hurts. But in the end, walking is always better than crawling or staying still.
Yes, I am a failure. I am a selfish brat. But God gives more grace. He is working, He is molding. It usually takes me falling on my face for me to finally get something. This is one of those times. I prayed for humility and play the background. After a while of ignoring His call, God has set me straight. I have had an amazing opportunity to see God move in big ways, especially lately. I am learning how to be free from religion. I am learning how to serve and love. I am learning how much nothing I really am. Every thing I am is from Him anyway. He has provided. He have been faithful. He has redeemed everything I have screwed up this semester, and I know He will continue to do so. It may not be in my timing or my way, but He always does what He says He will. I am thankful for being shown that I am an absolute wretch. I now have more room to praise God for who He is and how much He loves us.
I am learning how to die. It is hard, but it is beautiful. I pray that by the end of the year I am unrecognizable because God has transformed me so much. I pray I don't get in the way more than I alreay have. I want to die completely, I want to live the complete surrender of people like Paul, Eric Liddell and Jim Elliot.
I want to fade into a deeper beauty. By His grace, one day I will.
This semester I have definitely learned more of God's faithfulness and of His glorious redemption.
I have also learned that I am the one mentioned in Galatians 6:3, "For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself." I sat at a higher table just to find that I was assigned to be seated much lower. My pride blew up. I let satan tell me that I was a big deal, that everything I said was dripping with wisdom and that I was really learning how to love people and was doing a good job. Lies, all of it. Truth is, I have just been full of myself most of this semester. God has done His best to bring me back to reality though.
I have had to drop a class for the first time ever. I almost thought I wasn't going to be able to complete a class this semester. I have failed at being the roommate and friend God has called me to be. I have had my moments of letting Him shine through, but I feel like for the most part I was trying to shine so hard on my own I eclipsed anything He was trying to do.
I have been going hard this semester, mostly striving on my own rather than being poured out for the Lord. The semester started with so much promise. I prayed to be poured out, and be to a background player, now matter how thankless my actions were.
But I gave up.
It was hard. I was tired or trying. I got busy. I gave up.
As I sit here and think over the semester I feel like I have grown, but only in the fact that now I realize how unimportant I am, how much I don't have this whole Christian thing figured out. I am not as big of a deal as I thought I was. I am nothing really. I am spoiled, selfish, lazy, and unwise with my words. I am a failure. I don't really know if this is the real me or if the Kelley of Japan is the real me. Have I digressed? Was I ever really anything?
Last week, I heard one of the most life changing sermons I have ever been privilege to hear. It was over Galatians 5:16-26. The message I really came away with is that we are called to just walk. We don't have to follow any formulas. We don't have to prove anything. There are no prerecs. We just walk in the Spirit. He promises to guide us every step of the way. And we shouldn't lose heart when we fall, we are just learning how to walk, we are not perfect. We do not just wake up one morning with the ability to run a mile. We must learn. And it not an easy process, it is hard and sometimes it hurts. But in the end, walking is always better than crawling or staying still.
Yes, I am a failure. I am a selfish brat. But God gives more grace. He is working, He is molding. It usually takes me falling on my face for me to finally get something. This is one of those times. I prayed for humility and play the background. After a while of ignoring His call, God has set me straight. I have had an amazing opportunity to see God move in big ways, especially lately. I am learning how to be free from religion. I am learning how to serve and love. I am learning how much nothing I really am. Every thing I am is from Him anyway. He has provided. He have been faithful. He has redeemed everything I have screwed up this semester, and I know He will continue to do so. It may not be in my timing or my way, but He always does what He says He will. I am thankful for being shown that I am an absolute wretch. I now have more room to praise God for who He is and how much He loves us.
I am learning how to die. It is hard, but it is beautiful. I pray that by the end of the year I am unrecognizable because God has transformed me so much. I pray I don't get in the way more than I alreay have. I want to die completely, I want to live the complete surrender of people like Paul, Eric Liddell and Jim Elliot.
I want to fade into a deeper beauty. By His grace, one day I will.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Staying Home
I am not going back to Japan next summer. I have known this for about 5 months or so. When God first told me, I was ok with it. Two years of my life had been spent raising money to go and being in Japan. I was ready for a new adventure.
Today is November 2, and for the first time since 2006 I am not raising money for a trip. It's a weird thing to think about. This will be my first summer since the summer after my junior of high school for me to not go overseas for at least a week. God is calling me to stay home this summer. While I am stoked about the opportunity I feel like He is calling me to, it's still hard. Enough time has passed where I no longer just miss my intern family and those I served with, but also the country itself. I miss being in Japan. And this time around, I don't have a short time frame of return to comfort myself. I don't know when I am going back to Japan. I don't know if I will ever go back to Japan. That is a hard realization. I know I was only there for two summers, but those 21 weeks or so are some of the most influential of my life. Part of my heart will always be in Tokyo. I often catch myself daydreaming walking through Shibuya or around Koganei Koen. I am so thankful God let me go to Japan for His name. I am so unworthy. I probably did about 2/6 of the work He had for me to do, most likely less. But He is sovereign. He is faithful. He doesn't need me anyway. I am thankful for that truth. One of my precious fellow interns texted me the other day to remind me that I am unworthy. Just short and sweet like that, remember today that you are unworthy. It was a little shaking at first, but then it was just a rush of peace and comfort. To say we are unworthy is an understatement, but Jesus came and died for us anyway. Wow. What a wonderful Savior!
Today, I would rather be in Japan. But God is faithful to answer prayers. I am always in Tokyo through prayer. I'm thankful for a big God like that.
Today is November 2, and for the first time since 2006 I am not raising money for a trip. It's a weird thing to think about. This will be my first summer since the summer after my junior of high school for me to not go overseas for at least a week. God is calling me to stay home this summer. While I am stoked about the opportunity I feel like He is calling me to, it's still hard. Enough time has passed where I no longer just miss my intern family and those I served with, but also the country itself. I miss being in Japan. And this time around, I don't have a short time frame of return to comfort myself. I don't know when I am going back to Japan. I don't know if I will ever go back to Japan. That is a hard realization. I know I was only there for two summers, but those 21 weeks or so are some of the most influential of my life. Part of my heart will always be in Tokyo. I often catch myself daydreaming walking through Shibuya or around Koganei Koen. I am so thankful God let me go to Japan for His name. I am so unworthy. I probably did about 2/6 of the work He had for me to do, most likely less. But He is sovereign. He is faithful. He doesn't need me anyway. I am thankful for that truth. One of my precious fellow interns texted me the other day to remind me that I am unworthy. Just short and sweet like that, remember today that you are unworthy. It was a little shaking at first, but then it was just a rush of peace and comfort. To say we are unworthy is an understatement, but Jesus came and died for us anyway. Wow. What a wonderful Savior!
Today, I would rather be in Japan. But God is faithful to answer prayers. I am always in Tokyo through prayer. I'm thankful for a big God like that.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
One Month Later
I have been home three days short of a month, but it feels more like 3 months since I left the Japan. It has been a lot harder to transition back to Texas this year than it was last. I have enjoyed seeing family and coming back up to College Station, but I definitely have had my fair share of reverse culture shock moments. I think one of the hardest things about coming back it just trying to fit the parts of me that have been changed this summer into the shape of me that was left behind, if that makes any sense. I have been changed, some big ways and some small ones. It feels kind of like trying to fit a puzzle piece that was reshaped, even just a little bit, back into the puzzled you took it from. It hasn't been as hard of a transition in College Station as I thought it would be, it has been to be back with the wonderful brothers and sisters Father has blessed me with here. I have been so encouraged to hear their stories of the summer and what God did all over the world on almost every continent through our BSM. As amazing as that has been, until recently I had really been struggling to stay in the Word.
One thing that I have learned about myself over the past year or so is that I am very good religious person. By that I mean that sometimes I forget that Christianity isn't about a list of rules and I try to live my life that way rather than treating it as a relationship. God has really been changing the way I go about my quiet times. I am one of those people that is pretty consistent with having a quiet time each day, but that doesn't always mean I'm doing it for the right reasons. More often than not I do it because I know I'm "supposed" to. Jesus is the most important thing in my life, my Creator and Savior, I should want to spend every second with Him. I owe that to Him, right? Just this week I have finally been able to get into the Word because I want to, not because I have to. And what God has been teaching me is going back to the basics, but it is so new to me. It's not about how much I read, it's about how much my heart is in it. I have heard it said that is better to eat smaller meals more through out the day than just three big ones because it will actually help you eat less. If that is true about our bodies, why wouldn't that be true of our spirits as well? Why do I put so much stock into spending time in the Word in the morning, check it off my list, then go through out my day without ever giving more time to God? Doesn't it make sense to spend as much time with Him through out the day? When you're in a relationship you don't want to just talk to the other person once a day, you want to spend as much time with them as you can, talking through out the day. That is how we should approach our relationship with Father. He is, after all, our First and True Love.
In addition to all that, God has been taking me back to what the gospel is. It really is a folly to the perishing. But to those who are saved, it is beautiful and wonderful and unfathomable. Jesus left His perfect kingdom in heaven for this dirty, sinful world in order to experience everything we do. We do not have a high priest that has no sympathy on us, He knows. He knows what it's like to hurt or be confused or even how to battle religion to experience the Relationship. Our God is so great and His love for us reaches so much farther than we can know.
Thank you all for your prayers. This will be my last update. You can probably check back every now and then because I am sure I will still blog from time to time, but more for my sake haha. Please continue to pray for Japan, the people we met, and the missionaries that are still living there. Please pray for my teammates as the are also adjusting. Some are graduating this semester, some are back in high school, one left two weeks after we got back to a foreign country for 10 months to teach English. God is still working in all of us. We all appreciate your prayer. Love you all. Sayonara!
One thing that I have learned about myself over the past year or so is that I am very good religious person. By that I mean that sometimes I forget that Christianity isn't about a list of rules and I try to live my life that way rather than treating it as a relationship. God has really been changing the way I go about my quiet times. I am one of those people that is pretty consistent with having a quiet time each day, but that doesn't always mean I'm doing it for the right reasons. More often than not I do it because I know I'm "supposed" to. Jesus is the most important thing in my life, my Creator and Savior, I should want to spend every second with Him. I owe that to Him, right? Just this week I have finally been able to get into the Word because I want to, not because I have to. And what God has been teaching me is going back to the basics, but it is so new to me. It's not about how much I read, it's about how much my heart is in it. I have heard it said that is better to eat smaller meals more through out the day than just three big ones because it will actually help you eat less. If that is true about our bodies, why wouldn't that be true of our spirits as well? Why do I put so much stock into spending time in the Word in the morning, check it off my list, then go through out my day without ever giving more time to God? Doesn't it make sense to spend as much time with Him through out the day? When you're in a relationship you don't want to just talk to the other person once a day, you want to spend as much time with them as you can, talking through out the day. That is how we should approach our relationship with Father. He is, after all, our First and True Love.
In addition to all that, God has been taking me back to what the gospel is. It really is a folly to the perishing. But to those who are saved, it is beautiful and wonderful and unfathomable. Jesus left His perfect kingdom in heaven for this dirty, sinful world in order to experience everything we do. We do not have a high priest that has no sympathy on us, He knows. He knows what it's like to hurt or be confused or even how to battle religion to experience the Relationship. Our God is so great and His love for us reaches so much farther than we can know.
Thank you all for your prayers. This will be my last update. You can probably check back every now and then because I am sure I will still blog from time to time, but more for my sake haha. Please continue to pray for Japan, the people we met, and the missionaries that are still living there. Please pray for my teammates as the are also adjusting. Some are graduating this semester, some are back in high school, one left two weeks after we got back to a foreign country for 10 months to teach English. God is still working in all of us. We all appreciate your prayer. Love you all. Sayonara!
Friday, August 6, 2010
Ready to Go.
Since Tuesday I have said goodbye to 31 of my fellow interns, my closest Japanese friends, and most of the missionaries I have gotten the chance to serve and serve with this summer. Most of these goodbyes have come today. As I sit in the extra bedroom of the Journey girls' apartment, my stuff is everywhere. Most of it is in the suitcase, but there are still things strewn across the room. I am exhausted, I haven't gotten much sleep with two all-nighters this week to send off people leaving early in the morning. Physically, I am no where near ready to go.
Spiritually, surprisingly, I am.
My entire life built up to this summer. I felt that before I came, and I still would say that. This summer has been a pivotal time in my life. But not in the way I expected it to. God did a lot more this summer than I think I even realize, and maybe ever will. I came in thinking that I would be a big problem solver, a drama extinguisher, a source of wisdom and truth. God had other plans. There were no big problems to solve, no drama to extinguish, and He was always the fountain of wisdom, never me. But I got to see God bring together 32 different people in the most beautiful way possible. I lived with 31 other people, mostly in one apartment, for the better part of 2 and a half months and we all got along nearly perfectly. Not only that, we genuinely loved each other. That doesn't just happen. God's mighty hand and outstretched arm are all over that. We really became a family in a matter of days. I got to see my brothers and sisters pour into their Japanese friends with all they had. Sometimes we saw fruit, most times we didn't, but it was beautiful to see. God is truly making Himself famous here. I cannot wait to hear the salvation stories of all the seeds we planted this summer.
When I board that plane in the morning, I am bringing two big things with me that I didn't have as I arrived here. First, I finally had the moment where God showed me that He is all I need, and everything that I want. I am stuck, I have nowhere else to go. He is everything to me. I can gain satisfaction in absolutely no other place but my Heavenly Father and Savior. I wouldn't want to even if I could. I am all wrapped up in this crazy love and even though it's never easy or safe, it's far more than enough for me. The second big thing I have learned this summer is how to serve. I am a selfish person. I will always be most likely. I forget that I am not the center of the universe and that I have nothing owed to me and no rights to anything. But, in the midst of my selfish self, God has taught me to serve and to count other more important than myself. At the end of the summer we get these Sayonara dolls that every one writes in. Almost every single person said something about being a servant in mine. That is only because of the Jesus in my, I thought I could have done a whole lot better of a job serving and loving others than I did. I know I could have. But in my lazy selfishness God was still able to move me enough to bring praise to Himself through me some how. I am not a good servant, I'm not even very good at being obedient, but God is so powerful He can muscle through all that and use me sometimes. There is nothing more humbling. Humility has also been a theme this summer. And as hard as it is, I am incredibly thankful for it. I couldn't have done well at all this summer without God showing me how much I don't know.
In Luke 17:7-10 Jesus gives an example that is extremely relevant to my life at this very moment. "Will any one of you who has a servant plowing or keeping sheep say to him when he has come in from the field, "Come at once and recline at the table"? Will he not rather say to him, "Prepare supper for me, and dress properly, and serve me while I eat and drink, and afterward you will eat and drink"? Does he thank the servant for doing what was commanded? So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, "We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty." I am that servant. I have done nothing special this summer. I am nothing special. I am simply obeying my Lord and Master. I don't deserve any glory or praise, He deserves all of it. I am grateful that I can say this with all my heart this young, I pray that means I won't waste the life He has given me to give back to Him.
Tomorrow is my 21st birthday. I can think of no better way to spend it than with my True Love on a plane alone for lots of hours to talk about the summer and what's next. It will be hard to leave Tokyo, a part of my heart will always be here. But, I know I am supposed to leave. It's time. I will be back someday. Japan is in God's hands, it always has been and always will be. I feel like Master is saying, "Not bad, but we've still got a long way to go. Keep following, I have more for you to do." I am ready to return home and see what those things are.
This is my final blog from Japan. Thanks for following. Your prayers and encouragements mean the world to me. I love y'all all so much. See you in the States!
Spiritually, surprisingly, I am.
My entire life built up to this summer. I felt that before I came, and I still would say that. This summer has been a pivotal time in my life. But not in the way I expected it to. God did a lot more this summer than I think I even realize, and maybe ever will. I came in thinking that I would be a big problem solver, a drama extinguisher, a source of wisdom and truth. God had other plans. There were no big problems to solve, no drama to extinguish, and He was always the fountain of wisdom, never me. But I got to see God bring together 32 different people in the most beautiful way possible. I lived with 31 other people, mostly in one apartment, for the better part of 2 and a half months and we all got along nearly perfectly. Not only that, we genuinely loved each other. That doesn't just happen. God's mighty hand and outstretched arm are all over that. We really became a family in a matter of days. I got to see my brothers and sisters pour into their Japanese friends with all they had. Sometimes we saw fruit, most times we didn't, but it was beautiful to see. God is truly making Himself famous here. I cannot wait to hear the salvation stories of all the seeds we planted this summer.
When I board that plane in the morning, I am bringing two big things with me that I didn't have as I arrived here. First, I finally had the moment where God showed me that He is all I need, and everything that I want. I am stuck, I have nowhere else to go. He is everything to me. I can gain satisfaction in absolutely no other place but my Heavenly Father and Savior. I wouldn't want to even if I could. I am all wrapped up in this crazy love and even though it's never easy or safe, it's far more than enough for me. The second big thing I have learned this summer is how to serve. I am a selfish person. I will always be most likely. I forget that I am not the center of the universe and that I have nothing owed to me and no rights to anything. But, in the midst of my selfish self, God has taught me to serve and to count other more important than myself. At the end of the summer we get these Sayonara dolls that every one writes in. Almost every single person said something about being a servant in mine. That is only because of the Jesus in my, I thought I could have done a whole lot better of a job serving and loving others than I did. I know I could have. But in my lazy selfishness God was still able to move me enough to bring praise to Himself through me some how. I am not a good servant, I'm not even very good at being obedient, but God is so powerful He can muscle through all that and use me sometimes. There is nothing more humbling. Humility has also been a theme this summer. And as hard as it is, I am incredibly thankful for it. I couldn't have done well at all this summer without God showing me how much I don't know.
In Luke 17:7-10 Jesus gives an example that is extremely relevant to my life at this very moment. "Will any one of you who has a servant plowing or keeping sheep say to him when he has come in from the field, "Come at once and recline at the table"? Will he not rather say to him, "Prepare supper for me, and dress properly, and serve me while I eat and drink, and afterward you will eat and drink"? Does he thank the servant for doing what was commanded? So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, "We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty." I am that servant. I have done nothing special this summer. I am nothing special. I am simply obeying my Lord and Master. I don't deserve any glory or praise, He deserves all of it. I am grateful that I can say this with all my heart this young, I pray that means I won't waste the life He has given me to give back to Him.
Tomorrow is my 21st birthday. I can think of no better way to spend it than with my True Love on a plane alone for lots of hours to talk about the summer and what's next. It will be hard to leave Tokyo, a part of my heart will always be here. But, I know I am supposed to leave. It's time. I will be back someday. Japan is in God's hands, it always has been and always will be. I feel like Master is saying, "Not bad, but we've still got a long way to go. Keep following, I have more for you to do." I am ready to return home and see what those things are.
This is my final blog from Japan. Thanks for following. Your prayers and encouragements mean the world to me. I love y'all all so much. See you in the States!
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Strength Through Weakness
Yesterday we dropped off all 123 students from the Texas Super Summer team at the airport. They were an amazing team. We all thoroughly enjoyed each and everyone of them. I had a trek of 13 high schoolers and 1 adult chaperon. I couldn't have asked for a better trek. I think by the end of the week they all really got what this life is about. God doesn't need us anywhere. It's not about us. He chooses to use us for His glory all around the world with all kinds of people. It was beautiful to hear how God has change and ruined their lives in their time here. The Orange Trek was a great last team to go out with. These next three days will be spent either climbing Mt. Fuji or going to the Disney parks here. I chose Disney haha. After that we have a Sayonara Party, debriefing, cleaning, and leaving. This summer has absolutely flown by. It has been a great two and a half months. The team that I have been blessed with has been beyond my expectations. We had no drama. We didn't have any huge personality clashes. We got along and worked well together. We were able to stay focused. I believe all of that was possible because of your prayers. By the power and grace of God my job as team leader has been easier than I ever thought it could be. Several of the leaders of the TSS team affirmed my co-leader and I a lot. It was great to hear that what they are being told on the other side of the ocean is positive. We can't take any credit for anything good and positive this summer. We have to point that all back to the Lord. He held us together and stifled our pride enough for us to point back to Him and His power and mercy. I am thankful for the M's we have gotten to work with and how much they have poured into us. We really feel like a part of their family, we really feel loved. That in and of itself is a blessing.
As I write this, I have exactly 9 days left in Tokyo. I has definitely not hit me completely yet. As much as I don't want to, I have to start preparing myself to leave this place that has definitely become a home for me for two summers. I have no idea if and when I will be back. I love this place, I love these people, I will miss my brothers and sisters I have had the privilege to live with. It's weird to think about. I feel like I have been here forever, yet at the same time I'm not quite sure where the summer went exactly. A part of my heart will always be in Tokyo, Japan for the rest of my life. I am astounded and extremely grateful that God has given me this opportunity, twice. If you would have told me after I graduated from high school that in two years I would be finishing my second JSI summer in Japan and everything that has come along with that, I don't think I would have believed you. God has taken me on an adventure that I never expected, and I know we have a long way to go. I am excited to see what God has next for me, my fellow interns, and Japan. Just this week we have two new sisters and a new brother in Christ. That makes 7 or 8 for the whole summer. That may seem like a small amount, but they are true, genuine conversions. I would gladly take that than 100 iffy or possibly false conversions. God is at work. The ground is so much softer than it has been. Keep praying for Japan. I don't know what God has next for these people, but something is definitely building up. Who knows, maybe a great Japanese awakening will happen in our life time. How incredible would that be?! I have no idea that it is coming. I anxiously await the day it breaks out, whether I'm around to see it or not.
Please pray that we all finish strong. I know that we are tired. Ministry is technically over other than meeting with contacts, but just because it's not on a schedule that doesn't mean we shouldn't still be looking for divine appointments. Pray for the people we have met, the seeds we have planted and watered, and especially our new brothers and sisters. It is hard enough to be a Japanese person, it is really hard to be a Japanese Christian. Constantly keep the Church here in Japan in your prayers. God is definitely working.
Pray that we will all be able to process everything God has done in and through us this year. Pray that as we head home we wouldn't get lazy, we wouldn't let Satan fool us into any traps. Pray that we wouldn't have a "Japan high" but that we would be genuinely changed from who we were. There are a couple of interns who have had family members die this past week. Pray that the would cling to the God of all comfort and hope in this time.
One thing God has really been teaching me since last night is that my strength isn't enough. I have to depend on Him. I have been running hard without much of a break since last May. I am exhausted spiritually and physically. I know that I need this breaking point. As I was praying last night, God brought me from a aching tiredness to a joy and warm and peace in a tiredness that comes from running with Him. I am tired, but joyfully so. Pray that I would seek the Lord in this time and let Him fill me back up. Pray that I would stay focused on the interns God has entrusted to me for this last week. I don't want to quit now. This is my last chance to really love on them, and there is nothing I desire more. Thank you for your prayers. I cannot express enough how they make this work, and all mission work, possible. I love you guys.
As I write this, I have exactly 9 days left in Tokyo. I has definitely not hit me completely yet. As much as I don't want to, I have to start preparing myself to leave this place that has definitely become a home for me for two summers. I have no idea if and when I will be back. I love this place, I love these people, I will miss my brothers and sisters I have had the privilege to live with. It's weird to think about. I feel like I have been here forever, yet at the same time I'm not quite sure where the summer went exactly. A part of my heart will always be in Tokyo, Japan for the rest of my life. I am astounded and extremely grateful that God has given me this opportunity, twice. If you would have told me after I graduated from high school that in two years I would be finishing my second JSI summer in Japan and everything that has come along with that, I don't think I would have believed you. God has taken me on an adventure that I never expected, and I know we have a long way to go. I am excited to see what God has next for me, my fellow interns, and Japan. Just this week we have two new sisters and a new brother in Christ. That makes 7 or 8 for the whole summer. That may seem like a small amount, but they are true, genuine conversions. I would gladly take that than 100 iffy or possibly false conversions. God is at work. The ground is so much softer than it has been. Keep praying for Japan. I don't know what God has next for these people, but something is definitely building up. Who knows, maybe a great Japanese awakening will happen in our life time. How incredible would that be?! I have no idea that it is coming. I anxiously await the day it breaks out, whether I'm around to see it or not.
Please pray that we all finish strong. I know that we are tired. Ministry is technically over other than meeting with contacts, but just because it's not on a schedule that doesn't mean we shouldn't still be looking for divine appointments. Pray for the people we have met, the seeds we have planted and watered, and especially our new brothers and sisters. It is hard enough to be a Japanese person, it is really hard to be a Japanese Christian. Constantly keep the Church here in Japan in your prayers. God is definitely working.
Pray that we will all be able to process everything God has done in and through us this year. Pray that as we head home we wouldn't get lazy, we wouldn't let Satan fool us into any traps. Pray that we wouldn't have a "Japan high" but that we would be genuinely changed from who we were. There are a couple of interns who have had family members die this past week. Pray that the would cling to the God of all comfort and hope in this time.
One thing God has really been teaching me since last night is that my strength isn't enough. I have to depend on Him. I have been running hard without much of a break since last May. I am exhausted spiritually and physically. I know that I need this breaking point. As I was praying last night, God brought me from a aching tiredness to a joy and warm and peace in a tiredness that comes from running with Him. I am tired, but joyfully so. Pray that I would seek the Lord in this time and let Him fill me back up. Pray that I would stay focused on the interns God has entrusted to me for this last week. I don't want to quit now. This is my last chance to really love on them, and there is nothing I desire more. Thank you for your prayers. I cannot express enough how they make this work, and all mission work, possible. I love you guys.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
I am nothing.
Wow, I am so sorry it has taken me so long to blog! A lot has happened, so I'll just jump right in.
On Tuesday, we will have a team of 123 high school students from Texas here. We are all excited, even though it is going to be a crazy and exhausting week. Pray for them as they are going through base camp to prepare to be here. Pray for the adults who are leading them here, especially the iGo staffers and they are getting all the last minute stuff done.
A week or two ago we were at the big temple with a team of 12 college students from all over. As I was reading through Isaiah, God brought Acts 17 to mind where Paul is in Athens. I flipped through and found verse 24-27 underlined. Under than in the margin I had written "Theme for summer '09". I hadn't read those verses since last summer. They are so powerful. God made the heavens, the earth, and everything in them. He does not live in temples made by human hands. "He is not served by human hands, as if He needed anything, since He Himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything." As I was reading that, the climax of the Chris Tomlin song "Our God" was playing on my iPod. Wow. I just wanted to proclaim that our God is greater than all other gods at the top of my lungs. I had been discouraged, Jesus reminded me that He is greater though. I was reminded in His Word that He is greater, higher, and more powerful than anything. He will accomplish His purposes. As I was looking around, praising God in the midst of the darkness of the temple I saw an elderly woman digging through her purse. I prayed desperately that she wouldn't find her money so she couldn't pray to Buddha. I have no idea how far this woman travel to throw her money to Satan. After digging for a while longer, she found her coin purse. I was dismayed, then I stopped and listening to the song that was playing. I heard, "You alone can rescue. You alone can save." We cannot heal ourselves, or anyone else for that matter. We are fools to think otherwise. Paul planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. I am nothing. Those who came before me an those who will come after me are nothing. God alone brings growth and salvation. We are all working together not because He needs us, but because He chooses to us us. And it's not like we are better than those worshipping idols of this world. We are saved by grace, through faith, neither of which we can claim on our own. We would be incapable of faith if God has not given it to us. Nothing, absolutely nothing good comes from us. Anything good or worth while in us who are Christians comes solely from the Spirit dwelling withing, working on us continually. I am thankful for those reminders. I am nothing. He is everything. He is awesome in power and healer. He is for us, we have nothing to fear. The whole experience refreshed, renewed, and reminded me why I am here. God is at work and He has invited me to jump in with Him. I am so blessed. As this summer nearing its end, I feel like there is so much more I could have done. I am afraid I have been plagued with a bad attitude off and on. I don't know why, I love the Japanese people, I love this city, I love my team, I love what we do. I think I just let Satan get me distracted and didn't even realize it. I hate how he is so good at tricking me into the same things over and over again. As much as I want to beat myself up, I know that there is nothing I can do about the past. I can only focus on the future and set up defenses to things I struggle with. Like Paul said in Philippians 3:13-14, "...But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead. I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." I have roughly three weeks and a huge team left this summer. There is still a lot things I need to learn and a whole lot more things God is going to do. I am excited to see what it all is.
Please be praying for our team. Pray that we would use these next two days wisely and rest up for the Texas Super Summer team arriving on Tuesday. Pray against whatever Satan has up his sleeve. This summer has been amazingly smooth thus far, but this is our biggest week. I know he is not just going to let 123 people jump in with us without resistance. Thankfully our God is greater than he who is in the world. Pray for unity, health, rest, wisdom, and patience.
Pray for all the missionaries we are working for. Pray the same thing for all of them. They have been absolutely wonderful and helpful. Pray for refreshment for all of them. They have blessed me all so much. My friend Hunter and I got to go with our lead missionaries, Jeff and Kimberly, to Costco a couple days ago with them and their three boys. It sounds silly and small, but I think he and I both really enjoyed it. We got to just talk to Jeff and Kimberly as well as kind of step back into America a little bit. They really treated us like family, like they have all summer. As goofy as it sounds, that will probably be one of my favorite memories from this summer. I just love their family and everyone else we get to work with here. I will be very sad to leave them all.
Pray for divine appointments over these next three weeks. Pray that our friends will not be too busy to meet with us one or two more times. Pray for salvations, there are SO many that are so so very close to believing. I don't even care if I get to see it, I just want my friends to have abundant, eternal life. I want them to be in heaven with us.
Thank y'all for praying continually. I assure you that we feel every single one. We depend on prayer to keep us all going.
On Tuesday, we will have a team of 123 high school students from Texas here. We are all excited, even though it is going to be a crazy and exhausting week. Pray for them as they are going through base camp to prepare to be here. Pray for the adults who are leading them here, especially the iGo staffers and they are getting all the last minute stuff done.
A week or two ago we were at the big temple with a team of 12 college students from all over. As I was reading through Isaiah, God brought Acts 17 to mind where Paul is in Athens. I flipped through and found verse 24-27 underlined. Under than in the margin I had written "Theme for summer '09". I hadn't read those verses since last summer. They are so powerful. God made the heavens, the earth, and everything in them. He does not live in temples made by human hands. "He is not served by human hands, as if He needed anything, since He Himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything." As I was reading that, the climax of the Chris Tomlin song "Our God" was playing on my iPod. Wow. I just wanted to proclaim that our God is greater than all other gods at the top of my lungs. I had been discouraged, Jesus reminded me that He is greater though. I was reminded in His Word that He is greater, higher, and more powerful than anything. He will accomplish His purposes. As I was looking around, praising God in the midst of the darkness of the temple I saw an elderly woman digging through her purse. I prayed desperately that she wouldn't find her money so she couldn't pray to Buddha. I have no idea how far this woman travel to throw her money to Satan. After digging for a while longer, she found her coin purse. I was dismayed, then I stopped and listening to the song that was playing. I heard, "You alone can rescue. You alone can save." We cannot heal ourselves, or anyone else for that matter. We are fools to think otherwise. Paul planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. I am nothing. Those who came before me an those who will come after me are nothing. God alone brings growth and salvation. We are all working together not because He needs us, but because He chooses to us us. And it's not like we are better than those worshipping idols of this world. We are saved by grace, through faith, neither of which we can claim on our own. We would be incapable of faith if God has not given it to us. Nothing, absolutely nothing good comes from us. Anything good or worth while in us who are Christians comes solely from the Spirit dwelling withing, working on us continually. I am thankful for those reminders. I am nothing. He is everything. He is awesome in power and healer. He is for us, we have nothing to fear. The whole experience refreshed, renewed, and reminded me why I am here. God is at work and He has invited me to jump in with Him. I am so blessed. As this summer nearing its end, I feel like there is so much more I could have done. I am afraid I have been plagued with a bad attitude off and on. I don't know why, I love the Japanese people, I love this city, I love my team, I love what we do. I think I just let Satan get me distracted and didn't even realize it. I hate how he is so good at tricking me into the same things over and over again. As much as I want to beat myself up, I know that there is nothing I can do about the past. I can only focus on the future and set up defenses to things I struggle with. Like Paul said in Philippians 3:13-14, "...But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead. I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." I have roughly three weeks and a huge team left this summer. There is still a lot things I need to learn and a whole lot more things God is going to do. I am excited to see what it all is.
Please be praying for our team. Pray that we would use these next two days wisely and rest up for the Texas Super Summer team arriving on Tuesday. Pray against whatever Satan has up his sleeve. This summer has been amazingly smooth thus far, but this is our biggest week. I know he is not just going to let 123 people jump in with us without resistance. Thankfully our God is greater than he who is in the world. Pray for unity, health, rest, wisdom, and patience.
Pray for all the missionaries we are working for. Pray the same thing for all of them. They have been absolutely wonderful and helpful. Pray for refreshment for all of them. They have blessed me all so much. My friend Hunter and I got to go with our lead missionaries, Jeff and Kimberly, to Costco a couple days ago with them and their three boys. It sounds silly and small, but I think he and I both really enjoyed it. We got to just talk to Jeff and Kimberly as well as kind of step back into America a little bit. They really treated us like family, like they have all summer. As goofy as it sounds, that will probably be one of my favorite memories from this summer. I just love their family and everyone else we get to work with here. I will be very sad to leave them all.
Pray for divine appointments over these next three weeks. Pray that our friends will not be too busy to meet with us one or two more times. Pray for salvations, there are SO many that are so so very close to believing. I don't even care if I get to see it, I just want my friends to have abundant, eternal life. I want them to be in heaven with us.
Thank y'all for praying continually. I assure you that we feel every single one. We depend on prayer to keep us all going.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)