Red Eyes.

I'm sorry it's been so long since I have updated y'all on anything. It's been pretty crazy as this school year comes to a close. I will go ahead and share the prayer requests first because they are the most important.

A few of my teammates are still struggling with funds, as far as I know. We leave very soon. Please pray that God would provide peace and money to them all as they wait.

Pray for the team. Pray that God would be able to finish what He wants to have completed in us all before we leave the country. Pray for a spirit of unity and love for us all this summer.

Pray for the missionaries that are busy getting everything worked out for all the interns and volunteers coming this summer.

Here is a selfish one: I have to fly to Japan by myself. As much as I've flown, I have never flown alone before. And I have a layover on the West coast before I can get on the plane for Tokyo. I know God has everything under control and I have nothing to fear, but I am still nervous about a long day of traveling alone. Mostly switching from the domestic terminal to the international one, getting lost, and missing my flight or luggage. I know these are stupid, petty worries. I know that worry is sin. Please pray that God would give me peace about it all, and that I would stop sinning with my worry.

As some of y'all may know, my Grandpa (Dad's dad) passed away on Sunday. Today was his funeral. He had been sick for a long time, and was a believer so his passing has been bittersweet for my family. Alzheimer's robbed my sister and I the chance of really getting to know him, so I knew it wasn't quite as hard for me as it was for my dad, aunts, and older cousins, but it still hit me harder than I thought it would. My Grandpa was an amazing man of God. My oldest cousin did the funeral this morning and it was full of stories about how much my Grandpa did for Hope Baptist church, our family, and the Lord. I realized today just how rich of a Christian heritage I come from. When I was younger and lived in a mostly Hispanic town, I was frustrated with the fact that I didn't really have much of an ethnic heritage to claim like most of my friends did. I now see how foolish I was. My heritage is eternal. As Christians, our citizenship lies in Heaven, not on earth. How wonderful is it that God has given me a family where I can really start to understand that. I have no idea why Father has richly blessed me like He as, but I am incredibly and eternally thankful. He gave me two wonderful, Godly grandfathers who truly value His Word. He gave me two precious, Godly grandmothers who love me deeply with a love more than their own. He gave me the best parents that I could even imagine to ask for. I know that to whom much is given much is expected.

I know that this summer, much is expect of me. As much as I feel prepared, or at least as much as I can be before I go, satan has been creeping in with a fear that I will fail, that I will not love the interns as I should, that I will be selfish and silly, that I will be as bold as I have been called to be. I am 13 days away from getting on a plane and I feel less prepared than I did at the beginning of this semester. I have let fear creep in. I hate satan so stinking much! I know that I have everything I need, I have God. I cannot ask for anything more. I have the Holy Spirit working and moving inside of me. I need nothing else. God is working, Jesus is seated, and the Spirit is helping. Brad said that at our JSI Leadership retreat, and Father can never remind me of that enough.

Today was hard. But God is so faithful and sovereign. I got back from Hope and pretty much came straight to the library to study because I have two finals on Friday (Oh yeah, if you could pray for finals that would be awesome). I hadn't been able to really do my quiet time this morning so I sat down and did that first, I could feel it in my soul that I needed that most. If I had read this morning, I don't know if it would have meant as much. My soul was crying out for its food for the day, and Father brought a feast. The reading plan I am on had 2 Corinthians listed to read. Friends, I have not felt this renewed and joyful in a long time. My outer self was wasting away, but my spirit was strengthened. The ministry that God has called me to this summer is His, not mine. The interns I am called to shepherd are His, I am still a simple little sheep myself. I have been reminded of the freedom of serving in any kind of leadership position doesn't mean that I have to do more, but so much less in order to let Him receive more and more glory, that is rightfully His anyway. Praise God for His Word, the gift of the Holy Spirit to understand it, and the sacrifice of His Son for our sins to bring us the salvation that must come first.

"So we do not lost heart. Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not at the things that are seen but to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18