I just want to say thank y'all so very much for your prayers and encouragement. This past week since I wrote that last blog Father has been blowing me away with encouragement from His word, my teammates here, and all of my wonderful friends and family back home. Thank you all again.
Wednesday nights we do accountability. One of the girls in my group said that the lead guy and I were doing a great job of holding the group together and that even though we didn't have many contacts to meet with we still got to come home and just be with the team. My mom reminded me that there are no problems because we are doing our jobs in being faithful to lead this group. God has been at work here the whole time, Satan just didn't want me to see it that way.
The high school interns, or GTs, got here this week and it has been such a great boost to our team. We are a complete team now. So far the transition has been a good one. The are all so excited to be here and serve the Lord. And they are an amazing group of kids. I look forward to getting to know them better as we are here for six more weeks.
Every Friday my ministry team gets to go to Chofu Baptist Church to help with their English club. It has really been fun to meet the ladies and just have conversations with them. We really enjoyed this church. Last Sunday it was a 90% chance of rain so instead of doing church in the park our whole team split up and went to churches all over the city. We went to Chofu. The service was just like any Baptist church back home, just in Japanese. It was so cool even though I didn't really understand what was going on. The service was two hours long, then we did an hour of small groups. That was really cool because the leader of the group my friend and I went to teaches the English class we go to so he explained it all to us. It sounded like a great sermon. We then discussed how the church should function. After small group we all ate lunch together and hung out. It was so cool. This church really loves each other. They really are one big family. The service started at 10:15. We rolled out of there at 3 and most people were still there fellowshipping or attending meetings. I just love that church. The pastor actually went to Southwestern in Ft. Worth so he and his wife speak wonderful English. They are really fun. Please pray for Chofu Baptist Church. Please pray that God would set it on fire for His glory and that it's members would share His love and grace with those around them. Pray for growth for the church and for the Japanese church as a whole.
Thursday during 5 minute English I got to share the whole gospel with a woman. She said her favorite book was based on Christianity and was about how the choices we make always have a greater meaning behind them. Then she asked me if I was a religious person. I said no. I got to share with her that being a Christian is about having a relationship with the One True God of Bible. I said that is is not a list of rules but that reading His Word brings me life and joy and peace. I shared with her that to God sin is sin and Jesus died to forgive us all. I told her Christians aren't perfect but we are forgiven and have Jesus in us to help us live closer to the way God wants us too. She took a Gospel of John and a Hope tract that I pray she will send in for the DVD that explains it all in Japanese. I didn't get in any contact information for her so pray she reads the word and God places Christians in her path. I am trusting in God's promise that His Word never returns void and always accomplishes His purposes.
Today at the park my friend Cara and I got to talk to two women we want to practice their English. They were so sweet. Pray that we will have time to meet up with them and that God would soften K-san and M-san's hearts.
Thank y'all for praying! God is moving and it is awesome. I have a feeling these last 6 weeks will not only fly by, but will change Japan forever.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
In Need
Please forgive the selfishness, but this one is going to be about me.
For the past couple weeks I have been in this funk that I just can't shake. I have good days and bad days, but for the most part I just feel tired and ineffective. I know a lot of it is lies from Satan. I know this is an attack. I am taking time alone with the Lord, not as much as I could be but it's not like it's on the back burner. I just don't know what to do. I am exhausted most of the time, too exhausted to try to talk with my teammates about how they are doing. Attack. Every time I go to a temple I get a headache that hinders me for the rest of the day. Satan. I hate saying all of this because I feel like a complainer, but I know that I need your help. I know that I need your prayer and encouragement. I am so weak, and I am ineffective, but I belong to and serve a Holy, Sovereign God who wants to use my weakness to make Him more famous. I think the biggest thing that the freaking devil has been getting with is that I am doing nothing leadership wise. I haven't had to deal with an conflicts or anything seriously serious, I know that is a blessing from God and I rejoice that we have come together well. But because I haven't had to do anything super leader-y, I feel like I am doing nothing. I know I can always pray more. I can always be more encouraging. I can always clean up around our apartment more. I just feel like I have no purpose here. Today I have been homesick. I hate that. I miss my family and friends, which is fine and good. I just wish that I didn't want to be home yet. This is my last six weeks in Japan possibly ever. I don't want to miss out on what God still has because I am focusing on home. I think a lot of this is harder because I should have this figured out. I should be bold, I should be good at staying on task and being a diligent prayer. Satan's lies are harsh and are running deeper than I realize. I just need clarity. I need affirmation. I need a new purpose. I need a new desire to be here. I need to be broken for the people around me, Japanese and American. I don't want to be this girl. I want to love like Jesus loved, I want to serve selflessly. I want to pray constantly, and rarely for myself. Above all, I need to be more in love with my Savior.
I just need prayer.
I know that my comfort can only come from my True Comforter. I know that I can't do this without Him, but I can't do it without my brothers and sisters either.
I am about 100% sure I am not the only one feeling this way. I know that each and everyone of my teammates is struggling with stuff like this too. Please, don't just pray for me. Pray for them. We are about halfway through our summer. We have all been here about a month. A month is a long time to be away from your family, friends, and a country where you can read the signs and menus. Some have never been in a foreign country before. Some have never been out of the country for this long. Some are having a hard time meeting contacts. We are beat up, tired, and discouraged. Pray for sweet community. Pray we would become a body that lives, move, loves, and prays together. I would love nothing more than for this to be the sweetest community we have ever tasted.
Please pray for the high school interns as they get here tomorrow. A lot of them have never been away from home this long. They will be here six weeks. Some of them just graduated and are spending a majority of the summer in a place that makes it hard to settle things before going off to school. Pray they will not be too homesick or culture shocked. Please pray we as college interns would love and encourage them, and make their transition as easy as possible. Please pray for our unity as a team. We will have to readjust to living with people. We will have to relearn routines. Change is hard, and we are Southern Baptists haha. All jokes aside, it will be hard. Pray that it will be a beautifully easy transition only God could bring.
Pray for our retreat next week. Pray it is restful, rejuvenating, and unifying. Pray that Satan wouldn't mess with it or us. We need this respite from the bustle of the city and the work. Please pray that once we get back we will be ready to run HARD to the end.
Please pray that God would continue to soften the soil. Your prayers are doing so much, more than you and I will probably ever realize. God will accomplish His purposes, His Word will never return void. Pray we would rest in that promise. Pray we would be renewed and reminded of our calling. Pray we would savor every moment we have left in this wonderful country. Pray we would never wish we were somewhere else, pray we would be all here and would live to the hilt of every situation.
Pray for the Japanese Christians we have gotten to meet this summer. Pray for the Japanese church. Pray for a great awakening here. Pray that Japanese Christians would be broken for their country and would share with all they know. Pray that the Japanese church would be alive and growing. Right now it is dead and stagnant. But God is working. Pray that people wouldn't view it as a religion for weak women, but that Christianity would be seen as a relationship with the One True God that brings life, joy, and purpose.
Thank y'all so much for your prayers and support. I would not be here if it weren't for y'all.
For the past couple weeks I have been in this funk that I just can't shake. I have good days and bad days, but for the most part I just feel tired and ineffective. I know a lot of it is lies from Satan. I know this is an attack. I am taking time alone with the Lord, not as much as I could be but it's not like it's on the back burner. I just don't know what to do. I am exhausted most of the time, too exhausted to try to talk with my teammates about how they are doing. Attack. Every time I go to a temple I get a headache that hinders me for the rest of the day. Satan. I hate saying all of this because I feel like a complainer, but I know that I need your help. I know that I need your prayer and encouragement. I am so weak, and I am ineffective, but I belong to and serve a Holy, Sovereign God who wants to use my weakness to make Him more famous. I think the biggest thing that the freaking devil has been getting with is that I am doing nothing leadership wise. I haven't had to deal with an conflicts or anything seriously serious, I know that is a blessing from God and I rejoice that we have come together well. But because I haven't had to do anything super leader-y, I feel like I am doing nothing. I know I can always pray more. I can always be more encouraging. I can always clean up around our apartment more. I just feel like I have no purpose here. Today I have been homesick. I hate that. I miss my family and friends, which is fine and good. I just wish that I didn't want to be home yet. This is my last six weeks in Japan possibly ever. I don't want to miss out on what God still has because I am focusing on home. I think a lot of this is harder because I should have this figured out. I should be bold, I should be good at staying on task and being a diligent prayer. Satan's lies are harsh and are running deeper than I realize. I just need clarity. I need affirmation. I need a new purpose. I need a new desire to be here. I need to be broken for the people around me, Japanese and American. I don't want to be this girl. I want to love like Jesus loved, I want to serve selflessly. I want to pray constantly, and rarely for myself. Above all, I need to be more in love with my Savior.
I just need prayer.
I know that my comfort can only come from my True Comforter. I know that I can't do this without Him, but I can't do it without my brothers and sisters either.
I am about 100% sure I am not the only one feeling this way. I know that each and everyone of my teammates is struggling with stuff like this too. Please, don't just pray for me. Pray for them. We are about halfway through our summer. We have all been here about a month. A month is a long time to be away from your family, friends, and a country where you can read the signs and menus. Some have never been in a foreign country before. Some have never been out of the country for this long. Some are having a hard time meeting contacts. We are beat up, tired, and discouraged. Pray for sweet community. Pray we would become a body that lives, move, loves, and prays together. I would love nothing more than for this to be the sweetest community we have ever tasted.
Please pray for the high school interns as they get here tomorrow. A lot of them have never been away from home this long. They will be here six weeks. Some of them just graduated and are spending a majority of the summer in a place that makes it hard to settle things before going off to school. Pray they will not be too homesick or culture shocked. Please pray we as college interns would love and encourage them, and make their transition as easy as possible. Please pray for our unity as a team. We will have to readjust to living with people. We will have to relearn routines. Change is hard, and we are Southern Baptists haha. All jokes aside, it will be hard. Pray that it will be a beautifully easy transition only God could bring.
Pray for our retreat next week. Pray it is restful, rejuvenating, and unifying. Pray that Satan wouldn't mess with it or us. We need this respite from the bustle of the city and the work. Please pray that once we get back we will be ready to run HARD to the end.
Please pray that God would continue to soften the soil. Your prayers are doing so much, more than you and I will probably ever realize. God will accomplish His purposes, His Word will never return void. Pray we would rest in that promise. Pray we would be renewed and reminded of our calling. Pray we would savor every moment we have left in this wonderful country. Pray we would never wish we were somewhere else, pray we would be all here and would live to the hilt of every situation.
Pray for the Japanese Christians we have gotten to meet this summer. Pray for the Japanese church. Pray for a great awakening here. Pray that Japanese Christians would be broken for their country and would share with all they know. Pray that the Japanese church would be alive and growing. Right now it is dead and stagnant. But God is working. Pray that people wouldn't view it as a religion for weak women, but that Christianity would be seen as a relationship with the One True God that brings life, joy, and purpose.
Thank y'all so much for your prayers and support. I would not be here if it weren't for y'all.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Sweet Fellowship
Today was Saturday. Saturday in Japan mean park ministry. A couple teams joined together and went to Yoyogi Park, the Central Park of sorts here in Tokyo. After a quick picnic lunch we split off into pairs to prayer walk and meet people. My friend Cara and I prayer walked for about 2 and a half hours all around the park. It was such a good solid prayer time. My soul had been longing for that more than I realized. After that we headed to the nearest McDonald's for some air conditioning and hopefully some great conversations with people. Well after sitting down and looking all over the place for girls to talk to, we didn't feel led to talk to anyone. Two different sets of girls sat on either side of us but we knew that neither were right, it would just be forcing it. We finally decided to quit looking and just talk. It was easily one of the most encouraging conversations I have had in a long time. We talked about God and life and where we think God is taking us. Basically we planned our lives together filled with church planting, and inviting neighbors over for dinner. Now we just need husbands who are best friends to join it all haha. But seriously, even though we didn't get to share the gospel with anyone, we prayed for a total of 4 hours today. Four hours of prayer!! How wonderful is that?! We were also able to have a conversation that not only encouraged us but glorified Father just as much as if we got to share with people. It was so sweet to just fellowship. I love her so much. I love this group of sisters and brothers God has brought together. I have had so many amazing conversation. Things aren't perfect, we are still learning about each other. But it has been so great to live with people from all over the country and learn how we are all different and the same all at once. Please continue to pray for unity as we hit our stride and as the high school interns get here.
Tonight some friends and I are meeting our Japanese friend we met on a train. We feel like we have known them forever. Pray for opportunities to share with them and to continue our friendship with them.
God has been blowing up so many things in my heart and life. I am still figuring things out, and if you would like more details just message me and hopefully I will have my thoughts together enough to share. But basically, I have absolutely no idea what God wants me to do with my life past college other than seminary but everyday I am getting more and more excited to see what is next. I am so thankful to serve a God who is sovereign, has everything planned out since forever (literally), and is good and loving. I can't wait to see what God is going to let me do in His ministry somewhere in His world.
Thanks for praying! Love y'all!
Tonight some friends and I are meeting our Japanese friend we met on a train. We feel like we have known them forever. Pray for opportunities to share with them and to continue our friendship with them.
God has been blowing up so many things in my heart and life. I am still figuring things out, and if you would like more details just message me and hopefully I will have my thoughts together enough to share. But basically, I have absolutely no idea what God wants me to do with my life past college other than seminary but everyday I am getting more and more excited to see what is next. I am so thankful to serve a God who is sovereign, has everything planned out since forever (literally), and is good and loving. I can't wait to see what God is going to let me do in His ministry somewhere in His world.
Thanks for praying! Love y'all!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Ancient Work
This summer has flown by. I am a few days short of being here for a month. The high school interns, or GTs, get here next week. What? I think we are all in just a little bit of shock. God has really been waking me up to how little time I have here. I don't like to think of the end when I still have about two months left, but it will be here before I know it. The more I have thought and prayed, the more I feel like this summer is my last in Japan, perhaps forever. As much as I hate that, it pushes me to take things a little more seriously. I have only a few more short weeks before I go back to America and pick up where I left off with my family, friends, and school. To be honest there is a huge separation in my mind between my life back home and here. I never forget about those I love back home, and miss them when the Lord brings them to mind, but I do sometimes forget that this is not where my life is completely. I just feel so much at home here. I hope and pray my whole team feels the same way. I love these men and women. I am learning so much from them by watching them and through our conversations. It breaks my heart to think of the day when I will wake up and not share a room with 10 other girls. But, at the same time, I know that there is still a lot of work to be done, a lot of things still to happen. I am excited to see what God is going to do. For the longest time I was waiting for the summer to really get started. Father has shown me that it is in full swing. I am excited to go back to work tomorrow and life for Him in this nation as I pray for the people God has broken my heart for.
Every trip that I go on I think God reinforces a different core value. My first one week trip to Germany in 2007 taught me that everything is for God's glory, that is the bottom line of scriptures. In 2008 in Greece I think God reinforced hope of the world, God's church is alive all over the church and no matter who sends me on a trip God is going to use the work we do. Last summer was definitely the summer of joy of the sower. I learned how to count conversations instead of conversations. I learned that no one's salvation or discipleship depend on me, that's all God. I learned how to be joyful even when I lose a contact and trust her in God's hands, the only one who can bring growth any way. This summer, the Lord has really been showing me His ancient work. Ancient work means that God has been doing work long before we arrive anywhere, we don't "take" Jesus with us to a new place because the truth is He's been there since forever and isn't going anywhere. As of right now, ancient work is my favorite because it really shows off His sovereignty, His plan for the world since before He even created it. I mean, all the core values blend together to amount to the same thing, but still haha. In the past month we have run into more people who have either been to American and gone to church, went to a Christian school of some kind, knows a Christian, or was even friends with someone who came last summer. One of my teammates just texted me and said that she met a women who still writes letters with a girl who was an intern here last summer. How awesome is that! Every time I have gone to the big Buddhist temple here I still feel the darkness and am broken for the oppression, but the darkness does not feel as heavy. The air in general doesn't seem to be as heavy as it was last year. Our Father is moving in this place, revival is coming! I firmly believe that it won't be long until Japan become a nation after God's our heart. Of course, it's God's timing and not my own, but I just know He is going to sweep this nation for His glory and renown. Your prayers have been a part of that as much as your support of my trips here. We as a body of believers are working together to reach the ends of the earth. It is such a beautiful thing. So, again, thank you for all your prayers and support! It is definitely not in vain.
Please continue to pray for the people of Japan and their hearts. Pray they will continue to be more and more receptive to the gospel and that it would really take root here.
Please pray for our team. Satan is stirring. Nothing serious, but I think this past week as we have had a big team he has really been working on us, attacking a lot of us to discourage us. Pray for healing, pray for strength and energy. Please pray that we would really start to be unified as a church, not just a group of believers living together. It is my desire to see true community really take place here.
Please pray for the GTs as they get ready to join in the work here. I am so excited for them to get here!
Please pray for wisdom and discernment for me as I pray for and minister to the beautiful women God has put me with this summer. I really do love them all and have truly enjoyed watching Father work in their hearts.
Thank you for your prayers. Please please please keep them up!!
Every trip that I go on I think God reinforces a different core value. My first one week trip to Germany in 2007 taught me that everything is for God's glory, that is the bottom line of scriptures. In 2008 in Greece I think God reinforced hope of the world, God's church is alive all over the church and no matter who sends me on a trip God is going to use the work we do. Last summer was definitely the summer of joy of the sower. I learned how to count conversations instead of conversations. I learned that no one's salvation or discipleship depend on me, that's all God. I learned how to be joyful even when I lose a contact and trust her in God's hands, the only one who can bring growth any way. This summer, the Lord has really been showing me His ancient work. Ancient work means that God has been doing work long before we arrive anywhere, we don't "take" Jesus with us to a new place because the truth is He's been there since forever and isn't going anywhere. As of right now, ancient work is my favorite because it really shows off His sovereignty, His plan for the world since before He even created it. I mean, all the core values blend together to amount to the same thing, but still haha. In the past month we have run into more people who have either been to American and gone to church, went to a Christian school of some kind, knows a Christian, or was even friends with someone who came last summer. One of my teammates just texted me and said that she met a women who still writes letters with a girl who was an intern here last summer. How awesome is that! Every time I have gone to the big Buddhist temple here I still feel the darkness and am broken for the oppression, but the darkness does not feel as heavy. The air in general doesn't seem to be as heavy as it was last year. Our Father is moving in this place, revival is coming! I firmly believe that it won't be long until Japan become a nation after God's our heart. Of course, it's God's timing and not my own, but I just know He is going to sweep this nation for His glory and renown. Your prayers have been a part of that as much as your support of my trips here. We as a body of believers are working together to reach the ends of the earth. It is such a beautiful thing. So, again, thank you for all your prayers and support! It is definitely not in vain.
Please continue to pray for the people of Japan and their hearts. Pray they will continue to be more and more receptive to the gospel and that it would really take root here.
Please pray for our team. Satan is stirring. Nothing serious, but I think this past week as we have had a big team he has really been working on us, attacking a lot of us to discourage us. Pray for healing, pray for strength and energy. Please pray that we would really start to be unified as a church, not just a group of believers living together. It is my desire to see true community really take place here.
Please pray for the GTs as they get ready to join in the work here. I am so excited for them to get here!
Please pray for wisdom and discernment for me as I pray for and minister to the beautiful women God has put me with this summer. I really do love them all and have truly enjoyed watching Father work in their hearts.
Thank you for your prayers. Please please please keep them up!!
Saturday, June 5, 2010
How He Loves
Well friends, it's been a very eventful week. I have been meaning to sit down and write a blog pretty much everyday but I just haven't really had the time. If you have been waiting on a reply to an email, please don't take it personally if it takes me a while. I love you and am praying, but I just get distracted easily haha. But anyways, this will be a long one, so brace yourselves. Here we go!
I will start with the work I have seen Father do first, then I talk about what He has done in me personally.
God keeps bringing people to us, which is very un-Japanese. We have had a woman approach us while we were praying on a bench, a sweet college girl came up to us on the train, and lots of other stories. Yesterday (Friday) my area team went to a university to do some campus ministry. The Journeymen have become friends with a couple of professors here so that is an amazing open door that God has given us here. I really think God is stirring at the campus He has called us to this summer. I struggled with campus ministry last year. I don't know why, mostly fear I guess, but it scared me. The two girls on my team felt the same. We prayed about it, then headed into a hang out spot. I went up to these two girls to ask about English club on campus, but they misunderstood me and pointed to me a place outside the campus, and since she took the time to take me outside and leave her friend, I felt like I needed to stay outside for a while. I was determined to not let fear get the best of me though. After wondering around for a little bit, I finally saw a girl sitting alone on a bench. It was totally a divine appointment. She had pretty much perfect English. She had gone to a Christian school for middle school and high school, so there are seeds planted. We talked for like thirty minutes. It was probably one of the most genuine conversation I've had with a student here. She is my age, and not totally boy crazy. I don't think I have ever met a student my age before. We exchanged information so pray that we will get to meet together and become really good friends, and that ultimately she would come to know Christ.
Today, we had the most interesting 5 minute English experiences I think I have ever been a part of. At the very beginning I talked to this precious woman who was physically handicapped. She could speak really good English, but she had a hard time controlling her movements and talking. She was so excited to practice her English though. She said that she had gone to an art school in New York on scholarship for painting. When she found out that I was a Christian and not a Mormon she gave me a huge hug. I gave her a manga Messiah (anime story of Jesus' life) and my email. She also gave me hers. She really wants to practice her English. And I will gladly practice with her using the Bible. I can't wait to see what God does through these two contacts. Please pray that M-san will be just as excited as the Bible as she is for English and America. Pray that she will be healed body and soul. That was just the beginning of 5ME. It went pretty slow after that until about the last 45 minutes. Then it got crazy. One of my friends was standing next to me and this older man approached us. He couldn't speak too much English, but we understood enough to discover that he's traveled all over America on a Greyhound bus. The man has seen more of the States than I have. Soon after our other two teammates came to join us. Then a guy who is in Japan as a Campus Crusade missionary stopped and talked to one of our guys. It's encouraging to know there are others working here too. Then a man who I think went to college here stopped as well. At this point there are 4 of us and three people who have stopped. Hectic to say the least. Well, the man who had lived in the States had two petitions he wanted us to sign. We are hoping we didn't sign our lives away, but I think it opened doors for us. His shoulder and head were hurt, he said that he had been pushed over by the people he was petitioning to stop. We prayed healing over him and when my friend laid his hand on the man's shoulder, he began to cry. He shook our hands, obviously touched, and left. He came back to give us a calender. We got to talking, and the guy who laid his hand on the man's shoulder got to share about the Holy Spirit and a little bit of what it means to be a Christian. He was interrupted when the clock chimed five, time for our friend to go drinking. It was very obvious that God has been, and is going to continue, working in his life. He said he was going to come to church with us tomorrow. Please pray healing for T-san, heart, soul, and body. He is carrying hurts, pray that God would set him free. Pray for more opportunities to share, and ultimately salvation. I don't think he is very far. All in all, it's been a great first full week of ministry.
Well, now comes what I have been learning. If you need to take a break and come back, go for it. If you want to stop, that's fine too. Just don't forget to pray for the Japanese!
Ok, so I think the biggest thing God has been showing me is that He accomplishes His purposes in His perfect, sovereign timing. That has been beautiful. That is probably going to be a theme for the summer, which I am way excited. I love when God allows bigness moments to just marvel at all He is. Speaking of which, let me tell you how great our God is. Thursday night I was really struggling. Satan knows my weak spots, and as I've heard it said, he magnifies your weakness on the mission field. I know this to be true from experience. I was really having trouble, as girly and ridiculous as this sounds, being patient for my husband. I know, so silly, but it has been a struggle since forever. Honestly, it was just a cover struggle for me not believing God was enough and that He truly knew what is best for me. Satan had been messing with my thoughts all day. I was tired. I hadn't really journaled in a while, so I said goodnight to everyone and busted out the journal. I just spilled it all before the Lord. He gave me peace about it. I knew that I would have freedom from it, but I figured it would be a summer long fight. I went to bed exhausted in every way, but assured that God was in control. After a long but good day of ministry yesterday I stayed at our ministry site because I was supposed to meet a volunteer team there. Well, I thought the were getting there at 5:30 so I just waited around for about 45 minutes for the call from a missionary of the exact time. It came at 6, they weren't going to get there until about 8:15. My heart sank. I felt like I had wasted time. I walked around a little more, found for sure where I was meeting them, then decided to use the time to listen to a podcast or something. I went into McDonald's got a drink and set up shop. I felt like I needed to watch a Breakaway podcast called "The Sacrifice of Isaac". Friends, it was the most freeing sermon I have heard in my life. It was perfect for where I was. Even though I had heard it before, I took notes again. God showed up big time. I saw that once we enter a relationship with God, He does what He needs to until everything in our lives is under His rule. To seek our highest satisfaction in something other than the Lord is death to us. Because of that, the most loving thing He can do is take away what is destroying us. Abraham didn't hesitate when God told him to sacrifice Isaac, the child of promise. It says in Hebrews that Abraham reasoned that God could raise the dead, he knew the true character of God even when he was told to do something that went against all logic and reason. Wow. What faith! What Abraham knew, and I have learned, is that when we trust God with everything, we get to see the beauty of His provision. To receive God's provision we must first get to a place where we can handle it. We must be buried in the dirt until He is all we love and care about. God finally opened my heart to see that when our lives are completely open before Him, we are able to see a to a greater extent, and experience more fully all He is doing in His universe. Through this all, He set me free. I was putting my hope in a man that may not even be out there, and if he is will definitely let me down and not even come close to fulfilling my soul like Jesus.
My world has been completely rocked. I feel like every single worship song I have ever sung I can sing to a great extend. I can now say without a doubt that this Love is greater than life. I don't care if I ever get married or get to be a football mom. I don't really care what happens. Everything melts away in comparison to my Savior, my Redeemer, my Jesus. All else really is rubbish. I cannot even explain the freedom I feel. I never thought it would come this soon. I just wanted to run through the streets singing at the top of my lungs. Everything is different. Thank goodness for miscommunication and that McDonald's in Kichijoji. I am forever changed. I don't care if this summer just goes down hill from here, if I never talk to another Japanese person. If I came for the sole purpose of being set free, that is perfectly ok with me. If you have had this moment, I am sure you rejoice with me. If not, I pray earnestly that you will. Friends, Paul was right: nothing, not one thing, compares to the surpassing greatness of knowing our Savior King. How great is the Father's love for us! I am unaware of any afflictions, eclipsed by His great and mighty glory. I can go on forever, but I will stop for now.
Thank you for reading my ramblings. I love you sweet friends.
I will start with the work I have seen Father do first, then I talk about what He has done in me personally.
God keeps bringing people to us, which is very un-Japanese. We have had a woman approach us while we were praying on a bench, a sweet college girl came up to us on the train, and lots of other stories. Yesterday (Friday) my area team went to a university to do some campus ministry. The Journeymen have become friends with a couple of professors here so that is an amazing open door that God has given us here. I really think God is stirring at the campus He has called us to this summer. I struggled with campus ministry last year. I don't know why, mostly fear I guess, but it scared me. The two girls on my team felt the same. We prayed about it, then headed into a hang out spot. I went up to these two girls to ask about English club on campus, but they misunderstood me and pointed to me a place outside the campus, and since she took the time to take me outside and leave her friend, I felt like I needed to stay outside for a while. I was determined to not let fear get the best of me though. After wondering around for a little bit, I finally saw a girl sitting alone on a bench. It was totally a divine appointment. She had pretty much perfect English. She had gone to a Christian school for middle school and high school, so there are seeds planted. We talked for like thirty minutes. It was probably one of the most genuine conversation I've had with a student here. She is my age, and not totally boy crazy. I don't think I have ever met a student my age before. We exchanged information so pray that we will get to meet together and become really good friends, and that ultimately she would come to know Christ.
Today, we had the most interesting 5 minute English experiences I think I have ever been a part of. At the very beginning I talked to this precious woman who was physically handicapped. She could speak really good English, but she had a hard time controlling her movements and talking. She was so excited to practice her English though. She said that she had gone to an art school in New York on scholarship for painting. When she found out that I was a Christian and not a Mormon she gave me a huge hug. I gave her a manga Messiah (anime story of Jesus' life) and my email. She also gave me hers. She really wants to practice her English. And I will gladly practice with her using the Bible. I can't wait to see what God does through these two contacts. Please pray that M-san will be just as excited as the Bible as she is for English and America. Pray that she will be healed body and soul. That was just the beginning of 5ME. It went pretty slow after that until about the last 45 minutes. Then it got crazy. One of my friends was standing next to me and this older man approached us. He couldn't speak too much English, but we understood enough to discover that he's traveled all over America on a Greyhound bus. The man has seen more of the States than I have. Soon after our other two teammates came to join us. Then a guy who is in Japan as a Campus Crusade missionary stopped and talked to one of our guys. It's encouraging to know there are others working here too. Then a man who I think went to college here stopped as well. At this point there are 4 of us and three people who have stopped. Hectic to say the least. Well, the man who had lived in the States had two petitions he wanted us to sign. We are hoping we didn't sign our lives away, but I think it opened doors for us. His shoulder and head were hurt, he said that he had been pushed over by the people he was petitioning to stop. We prayed healing over him and when my friend laid his hand on the man's shoulder, he began to cry. He shook our hands, obviously touched, and left. He came back to give us a calender. We got to talking, and the guy who laid his hand on the man's shoulder got to share about the Holy Spirit and a little bit of what it means to be a Christian. He was interrupted when the clock chimed five, time for our friend to go drinking. It was very obvious that God has been, and is going to continue, working in his life. He said he was going to come to church with us tomorrow. Please pray healing for T-san, heart, soul, and body. He is carrying hurts, pray that God would set him free. Pray for more opportunities to share, and ultimately salvation. I don't think he is very far. All in all, it's been a great first full week of ministry.
Well, now comes what I have been learning. If you need to take a break and come back, go for it. If you want to stop, that's fine too. Just don't forget to pray for the Japanese!
Ok, so I think the biggest thing God has been showing me is that He accomplishes His purposes in His perfect, sovereign timing. That has been beautiful. That is probably going to be a theme for the summer, which I am way excited. I love when God allows bigness moments to just marvel at all He is. Speaking of which, let me tell you how great our God is. Thursday night I was really struggling. Satan knows my weak spots, and as I've heard it said, he magnifies your weakness on the mission field. I know this to be true from experience. I was really having trouble, as girly and ridiculous as this sounds, being patient for my husband. I know, so silly, but it has been a struggle since forever. Honestly, it was just a cover struggle for me not believing God was enough and that He truly knew what is best for me. Satan had been messing with my thoughts all day. I was tired. I hadn't really journaled in a while, so I said goodnight to everyone and busted out the journal. I just spilled it all before the Lord. He gave me peace about it. I knew that I would have freedom from it, but I figured it would be a summer long fight. I went to bed exhausted in every way, but assured that God was in control. After a long but good day of ministry yesterday I stayed at our ministry site because I was supposed to meet a volunteer team there. Well, I thought the were getting there at 5:30 so I just waited around for about 45 minutes for the call from a missionary of the exact time. It came at 6, they weren't going to get there until about 8:15. My heart sank. I felt like I had wasted time. I walked around a little more, found for sure where I was meeting them, then decided to use the time to listen to a podcast or something. I went into McDonald's got a drink and set up shop. I felt like I needed to watch a Breakaway podcast called "The Sacrifice of Isaac". Friends, it was the most freeing sermon I have heard in my life. It was perfect for where I was. Even though I had heard it before, I took notes again. God showed up big time. I saw that once we enter a relationship with God, He does what He needs to until everything in our lives is under His rule. To seek our highest satisfaction in something other than the Lord is death to us. Because of that, the most loving thing He can do is take away what is destroying us. Abraham didn't hesitate when God told him to sacrifice Isaac, the child of promise. It says in Hebrews that Abraham reasoned that God could raise the dead, he knew the true character of God even when he was told to do something that went against all logic and reason. Wow. What faith! What Abraham knew, and I have learned, is that when we trust God with everything, we get to see the beauty of His provision. To receive God's provision we must first get to a place where we can handle it. We must be buried in the dirt until He is all we love and care about. God finally opened my heart to see that when our lives are completely open before Him, we are able to see a to a greater extent, and experience more fully all He is doing in His universe. Through this all, He set me free. I was putting my hope in a man that may not even be out there, and if he is will definitely let me down and not even come close to fulfilling my soul like Jesus.
My world has been completely rocked. I feel like every single worship song I have ever sung I can sing to a great extend. I can now say without a doubt that this Love is greater than life. I don't care if I ever get married or get to be a football mom. I don't really care what happens. Everything melts away in comparison to my Savior, my Redeemer, my Jesus. All else really is rubbish. I cannot even explain the freedom I feel. I never thought it would come this soon. I just wanted to run through the streets singing at the top of my lungs. Everything is different. Thank goodness for miscommunication and that McDonald's in Kichijoji. I am forever changed. I don't care if this summer just goes down hill from here, if I never talk to another Japanese person. If I came for the sole purpose of being set free, that is perfectly ok with me. If you have had this moment, I am sure you rejoice with me. If not, I pray earnestly that you will. Friends, Paul was right: nothing, not one thing, compares to the surpassing greatness of knowing our Savior King. How great is the Father's love for us! I am unaware of any afflictions, eclipsed by His great and mighty glory. I can go on forever, but I will stop for now.
Thank you for reading my ramblings. I love you sweet friends.
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